What Are My Kids Watching? "Jessie"

For most parents or grandparents, you understand the power and magic of children's television shows. Maybe you remember the good old days of classic Looney Toons or Mickey Mouse cartoons. Maybe you watched shows like Saved by the Bell or You Can't Do That on Television. Or maybe you're around my age and enjoyed shows like Hannah Montana, Kim Possible, and Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

But what are your kids watching?

I think it's very important to know. No matter what people try to tell you, children are very susceptible to media. What goes into their heads is what comes out of their mouths. If you're pulling your hair out trying to understand why your kids or grandkids (or nieces or nephews) act the way they do, maybe it's time you sat down and watched their TV shows.

The focus of this blog: Jessie.

Jessie is a show about an aspiring actress who moves to Manhattan to pursue her Broadway dream. But without money, connections, or talent, she ends up being hired as a nanny by a little girl she meets on the street. The little girl, Zuri, is a member of the Ross family, a very wealthy family with two "very busy" parents and their four children. The parents are in the pilot episode and maybe five or six other episodes throughout the series, as they're always "traveling for business."

The oldest of the four kids is Emma, a preteen ditzy blonde popular girl who's always on her cell phone and cares more about what dress she's wearing than pretty much anything else. Still though, at 14 years of age, that's rather common. She actually has a sweet heart, and learns selflessness and responsibility throughout the series, as she gets older and begins to mature. She also happens to be the only Ross who was not adopted, though that hardly warrants mentioning because refreshingly, the children actually treat each other as real siblings, like a family of adopted children ought to do. Kudos on that, Disney Channel. Kudos on that.

The second oldest in the family is Luke, who was adopted as a baby. Nobody knows really what his biological background is, though his version of events is his parents found him in an alien cradle Superman style and he's really a super powered alien baby from another planet, but it's just a story and he knows it. It is painfully obvious to him that he's the least favorite child of his parents, and Jessie. Luke is originally portrayed as a "bad boy" type who breaks rules, lies, and hits on Jessie. As the series progresses, however, the actor takes on the character and Luke becomes less and less "bad" and more and more "secret softie." In the later seasons, he also becomes more selfless, and begins to try and take care of the next child on the list, his little brother Ravi.

Ravi is the second youngest of the children, even though he was only adopted fairly recently, and is very close to Luke in age. Ravi was adopted by the Ross family from an orphanage in India, and of all the children, he is portrayed the most offensively. At first glance, he is very well educated and has a very good grasp on Indian culture, even helping Luke with school projects. Not to mention he speaks English almost perfectly, although with a strong Indian accent, and he is a master at playing the sitar. He also has a seven-foot long pet Asian Water Monitor lizard, that he raised from egghood. And yet, somehow, this well-educated, cultured little boy who had enough money to raise a high-maintenance lizard is portrayed as slightly stupid in some episodes, and very stupid in others.

In one episode, he reveals that when he was adopted, he went into his new room and found it to be prepared for an infant. But, being the poor sad little foreigner that he is, was ignorant enough to think that the crib his new parents had bought was a "wooden cage" for his lizard, and thought similar things about the rest of the items in the room. When Jessie tactlessly reveals that they were expecting an infant, he goes into a bit of an identity crisis for the remainder of the episode. Because Indian children have never seen cribs before. Nice, Disney. You lose major points for that.

Finally, we get to Zuri, the youngest of the Rosses. Zuri was adopted at infancy like Luke, and she hails from Uganda. Zuri is a wild and imaginative little spitfire that says what she feels, has tea parties with her imaginary friends, and likes to use the family butler as a jungle gym. A regular little girl. She also becomes loyal to Jessie practically instantly, and loves her wholeheartedly. She loves her parents and siblings wholeheartedly as well, though being such a young girl, she was easily spoiled by her absent parents and constantly-quitting nannies, and is rather selfish at times. Again, she's a little girl. That happens. She looks up to Emma as her beloved big sister, and she simultaneously both torments and adores her brothers, who indulge her and sometimes torment her right back.

Now that we've got the characters established, let's get to the meat of the show. My synopsis in one word: Horrible.

Why, you ask? Because of the title character, Jessie herself. Jessie just so happens to be the most selfish person on the show. She has proven over and over again that she cares more about her next audition than the children themselves.

This is especially apparent in one episode, in which she agrees to babysit Wendy, the child of a busy producer in exchange for an audition for his latest production. As soon as the father is gone, Jessie leaves the penthouse, and Wendy immediately begins bullying Zuri mercilessly, breaking her toys, breaking the rules, bossing Zuri around, and tormenting the butler. Jessie doesn't return until seconds before the father, and when Wendy says she wants to return, Jessie happily agrees to babysit anytime.

During the next babysitting session, Jessie walks into the room right after a precious vase is broken by a dodgeball Wendy intended to hit Zuri in the face with. Jessie blames Zuri instantly, and when Wendy fabricates a story further indicating that Zuri broke the vase, Jessie completely believes her and pulls Zuri aside. She first guilt-trips Zuri by saying "Zuri! You know how important this is for me! For once, can't you just think about someone besides yourself?" Then, when Zuri tries to defend herself and tells Jessie that Wendy is a horrible monster, Jessie snaps, word for word, "She is not! And I'm really disappointed in you. Now, be nice!" I swear, the look of absolute heartbreak on that little girl's face is obvious to see, and when Wendy threatens to ruin Jessie's chances of getting the audition, Zuri agrees to keep quiet because of her love for Jessie.

It isn't until Wendy begins to torment Jessie that she finally believes Zuri (and the butler.) Even then, she still makes Zuri play with Wendy in an effort to get the audition. At the end, Wendy, who is aiming a water balloon slingshot at Jessie, accidentally hits her father in the face when Jessie dodges right at the elevator door behind her opens. Wendy instantly blames Zuri. Her father demands that Zuri apologize, and Jessie almost lets it happen, but is so fed up at being tormented herself that she interrupts Zuri's apology to tell the dad off. She turns the situation by a "heartfelt explanation" that Wendy is acting up because she wants her dad's attention, and she wins the audition.

This is only one instance of selfishness displayed by Jessie throughout the show. On top of her selfishness, Jessie has no concept of appropriate disciplinary measures, and is constantly snapping at, falsely accusing, and sometimes openly mocking the children. Sometimes she let's the kids get away with anything as long as they don't bother her, and then sometimes she does the exact opposite and punishes the children for nothing, or she doles out a punishment that far exceeds the crime committed. In one episode, she grounds Luke and omits him from the day's planned fun activities, for using Emma's laptop. Not even misusing the laptop or breaking the laptop. Just using it.

In one episode, Emma forgets to pick Zuri up from school because her head's in the clouds over a "totally important school dance she just has to be at." Teenage girl stuff. Jessie is getting after her for it, which is good. When a girl forgets to pick up her sister from school, it's very important to get after her for it. But a scolding is all she's getting until Emma comments that picking Zuri up from school is supposed to be Jessie's job anyway. Which is true. Jessie's the nanny. The Ross' pay her very well, for being a nanny. And at this point in the show, Emma is 15. She doesn't have a car, or a license. In fact, she doesn't even appear to have a driver's permit yet. How is she supposed to pick up Zuri in the first place? But Jessie freaks out and grounds Emma from her big dance, because she "needs to learn." She needs to learn what, exactly? That Jessie is always right and that it's wrong to say that she's not? Emma wasn't going to be punished when the only offence was forgetting Zuri. It wasn't until Emma called Jessie out on her own part in it that she's suddenly grounded.

Jessie's morals are skewed as well. In one episode, Zuri wants to enter a beauty pageant. Jessie at first insists that beauty pageants are sexist and demeaning to women. Zuri responds "how many did you lose?" Jessie says "...three. Now go play!" But then it's revealed that Jessie's nanny nemesis, the mean and ugly Nanny Agatha, has entered her charge in the pageant, and now all bets are off. Now I want to examine three parts of this episode. First, Nanny Agatha.

In every episode involving Nanny Agatha, Jessie and the children pepper every single sentence with an insult to the ugliness of Nanny Agatha. They mock her appearance at every opportunity. I want to point out that this is, in my opinion, completely unacceptable. Yes, Nanny Agatha is a very mean nanny. But to make fun of her? And even if they do make fun of her, why only ever her appearance? She is a mean, spiteful, lying woman. And what is the only thing anyone mentions? Her wart and bad teeth. And since Jessie not only encourages the children to do this but joins them in it, the message that the children, and your children, are learning, is that it's okay to make fun of people if they're ugly.

The second thing I want to talk about is the beauty pageant itself. Soooo it's only sexist because Jessie can't win one? Sooooo it's only demeaning until Jessie gets into a nanny war? Sooooo it's only wrong until they have something to prove? I consider this a step backward, with thinly veiled assumptive language, stating that women secretly want to strut on the stage and have their bodies judged by men. That the only reason they say they don't like it is because they feel inferior, and a beauty pageant will give them the confidence they need to feel good about themselves. And that pitting little girls against each other to determine once and for all which is the prettiest/most talented of the two is a perfectly acceptable form of rivalry.

And finally, the meat of the episode: Zuri doesn't possess a conventional talent such as singing or dancing, and Jessie, wanting to win, suggests, implements, and forces Zuri to rehearse lip-syncing so they'll win. Zuri spends the whole episode obviously not wanting to cheat and getting disillusioned to the pageant, and still Jessie coerces her into continuing, telling her that lip-syncing isn't cheating, it's "playing to our strengths." Finally, right before Zuri gets on stage, she makes Jessie see sense by saying, with air-quotes included, "I can't wait to play to my strengths on my spelling test. And play to my strengths on my math test." Jessie finally lets Zuri ad-lib an original dramatic monologue, instead of lip-sync. Also, I want to note that Jessie and Emma constantly make fun of Zuri's lack of talent all throughout pageant practice. At the very least, the episode ends with neither Zuri nor Nanny Agatha's charge winning the pageant, and the prize going to some other girl they all made fun of backstage. Nice.

So now I've covered Jessie's selfishness, her inappropriate methods of punishment, her skewed morals, and her secret longing to win a beauty pageant. Still not convinced that she's a bad nanny? Just wait until you hear about the episode where she actually loses Ravi and Emma in the subway systems of New York City.

Yeah, you heard me right. Jessie takes everyone but Luke to go see Battery Park, making the bad decision to use the subway systems. She promptly gets lost, taking trains to all over the city, until she manages to board a train with only Zuri, leaving the other two behind. In a subway. In New York. So, a 14 year old blonde girl, and a 12 year old boy who obviously belongs to a minority racial group. Who also happen to be rich, and not altogether out of the public eye. The very real danger these kids would be in were this real life instead of a TV show simply can't be stated. In the episode, Jessie eventually finds her way back to them, they are still safe, and even though they didn't go to Battery Park, everyone had a basically fun day where they learned about New York, and it all turned out ok anyway. And Jessie nervously makes the suggestion that their parents don't need to hear about the whole "getting lost on the subway" thing.

This blog is starting to get rather long. I'm probably about done, right?

Wrong. Don't worry, I won't be much longer. I've given you a synopsis on the show, and a detailed explanation of Jessie's character. Now I'm going to let you in on some of the hidden agendas and "jokes" that will go right over a kid's head... but are wildly inappropriate for a Disney Channel show.

Jessie suffers from bad relationship problems, which is made apparent by her constant complaints about every boy she's ever dated whenever Emma so much as has a school crush. Eventually, Jessie starts dating the building's doorman, which is practically doomed from the beginning because he can't even compliment her without her bringing up another boy she dated who didn't, he can't so much as be ten minutes late without her freaking out that he's "just like the rest," who she openly despises for being so poor, wearing such shabby clothes, living in such a lousy apartment, and coming from such a stereotypical New York Italian family. Eventually, she does break up with him. She breaks up with him because she's jealous that he's been spending time with a young and pretty doorman-in-training, and she lays the flirting on huge with her underwear model ex-boyfriend (whom she had dumped in Texas, by texting his mom, because he apparently used to be ugly) in an attempt to get her boyfriend jealous too. Then she gets mad that he gets mad that she's openly flirting in front of his face. They then both admit they had feelings for the two people they were getting each other jealous over, and decide that if the spark is gone and they're noticing other people, they should break up and start dating other people.

This teaches your children that it's okay to be shallow, that constantly comparing your new relationships to your old relationships is normal, and that excessive flirting with people outside of your established "committed" relationships is perfectly acceptable, and that if your partner gets mad over it, it's their fault for being so close-minded. It also teaches that relationships are only about the spark, that once the spark is gone it's acceptable grounds for giving up on the whole thing, and that noticing other people means you have even more reason to give up on the whole thing.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good thing for people who obviously hate each other to get out of the relationship. I'm not saying that you have to keep dating someone after you decide they're not the one for you. What I don't like is how it was done. I don't like that it was acceptable for Jessie to flirt with her underwear model of an ex. I really don't like that she has an underwear model for an ex. I don't like that the real reason they broke up was because Jessie didn't like bowling and Tony didn't like movies with subtitles, and the "slob-meets-snob" character profile pairing didn't work out of a selfish unwillingness to learn to compromise and work through the differences. So, I guess, it's good that they broke up. It's bad that they broke up because neither of them loved the other enough to put aside their wants and do what the other wanted. Why is this a bad thing to teach kids?

Because you will never find someone who will always like exactly everything you like, and if you don't learn to compromise, you will always end up breaking up instead of establishing a healthy relationship. Even if you're already married. Once the "spark" is gone and it's harder to compromise, obviously you two shouldn't be together anymore.

And of course, this show is riddled with the standard "dumb kid=cool kid, smart kid=lame kid" concept, good kids are also lame while bad kids are also cool, all the blonde girls except for Emma are stupid and mean, and rules are meant to be broken. These messages are sprinkled throughout the show as often as they can be, and although sometimes they are hidden more cleverly, sometimes they are bluntly displayed clear as day.

And finally, I'll get to the last reason on why I don't think Jessie is a good show to let your kids watch. Her name is Mrs. Chesterfield.

Mrs. Chesterfield is the mean gaudy old lady who owns the building and hates the Ross kids, for pretty much plot exposition and no other reason. And my biggest problem with her is she hits on every male in the building, from Jessie's doorman beau to the family butler to the waiter in a restaurant. And it's not just that she hits on them. She sexually harasses them, both verbally and (in very mild doses because it's still Disney Channel, falling though it may be) physically. When the doorman has to physically remove her from the lobby, fireman-rescue style, he asks if she's comfortable. She, looking down, grins and says "No, but I LOVE the view!" When Jessie forces the butler to go on a date with Mrs. Chesterfield to get her out of trouble, he plays along and let her kiss him on the mouth for a full fifteen seconds to distract her from the group of them sneaking around in her apartment. At the aforementioned restaurant, she's been hitting on the waiter all night, and at one point actually pinches him on the butt.
"THAT'S your tip!" She declares with a grin.
"Here's a tip for you," he responds. "Call your lawyer. I'm suing you for harassment!"
Laughing happily, she exclaims: "I love it when they play hard to get!"
And so kids are taught that sexual harassment is funny. This absolutely should not be.

This is what your kids watch when they watch Jessie. Sexual harassment, selfishness, bullying, and shallow concepts of what love, be it romantic, sibling, or parental love, is and what it should be.

And it's all praised as the good of the show.

I will concede that there is one refreshing thing about Jessie. Aside from Ravi's ignorance regarding baby furniture, the show does a mostly good job of not racially discriminating against the kids. They're all treated equally, whether they're of American, Indian, or African background. Well, they're all treated equally except for Luke, who's the least favorite.

But aside from racial equality, I'd say this is one of the worst shows currently aired on Disney channel. If you've been wondering what your kids are watching these days, now you know about this one.

*

If you liked this blog, keep an eye out. Eventually, I plan to write reviews about Good Luck Charlie, Dog with a Blog, Phineas and Ferb, and I Didn't Do It, at the very least. If there's a certain show you're interested to learn more about, even if it's not on this list, leave a comment, and I'll make it a higher priority. And I would recommend watching a few episodes of Jessie yourself, so you can form your own opinions on it, and not just accept what I say as fact, because this is, after all, just an interested party, making some interesting observations.

Your Logic is Impeccable... And By "Impeccable" I Mean COMPLETELY PECCABLE!

You might have recognized the title from Phineas and Ferb's character, Doofenschmirtz. And maybe you were expecting a blog about him, or maybe about Perry the Platypus, or Major Monogram, or any other character from the series.

If you were, you can go ahead and close this window down now, because this blog is not going to have anything to do with the lovable rascals who build impossible things to avoid boredom and achieve greatness.

Instead, we're going to be talking about something a little closer to reality. Namely, logic.

No, wait, no. We're not going to talk about logic, as much as we're going to talk about a lack of logic.

Because lately I've been seeing quite a lot of it. People have been saying and doing whatever they want in the name of free will, and although it's been culminating under the surface for many many years, it's been especially close to erupting recently.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Here, let me give you some examples:

Valentime's Day instead of Valentine's Day.

Did you hear that this year? From at least more than one person? Did you happen to correct them? If so, what did they say? Because this year, I heard someone talking about how they heard so many people say Valentime's Day this year, and when they said something about it, they were told "why can't we just say Valentime? it's easier."

The answer ought to be "because it's wrong."

Or how about when someone spells a word with a g in it and they write a q instead? Don't believe me? This one happened to me personally. When I mentioned it, I was told "That's how I do g's."

I was genuinely surprised. Because it's not just that they do their g's in a strange way. It's that they replaced it with a q. So they write "qood" instead of "good," "qone' instead of "gone," "qreat" instead of "great." And they actually got mad at me for pointing it out. And you might say "Why does that matter? Why can't they write their g's however they want?"

And the answer ought to be "because it's wrong."

There are so many things in this world that we've just let slide for no other reason than because it's easier than speaking the truth. Papers riddled with misspelled words, conversations riddled with mispronounced words and bad grammar... the list could go on.

Why on earth is this acceptable? Why do people let their loved ones get away with this level of ignorance?

And before we go any farther, I want to clarify that I'm not talking about people with learning disabilities or anything. Dyslexia is a very real thing, and that makes it hard for people to spell their words right. Some people have poor oral skills, and that makes it hard for them to speak. I'm not talking about situations like that.

I'm talking about the people who think it's just easier to say the wrong word than it is to say the right word. Or the people who think it's just easier to write the wrong letter than it is to write the right one. Since when did "easier" become better than "right?" Since when did "wrong" become a matter of preference?

There is an interesting story behind the old cartoon Invader Zim. The cartoon is set in the not-so-distant future, and it portrays the cartoonist's prediction of what that future will be. It's a rather dark place, with a bunch of obese ignorant zombie-like humans who spend all their time watching television and eating from filthy burger joints where the food is made of garbage. Many of them have huge metal implants jutting out from various places of their bodies, like their heads or their backs. The general level of spelling is so bad that the schoolhouse says "SKOOL" on the outside, and almost every other word shown in the show is misspelled in a similar nature. The teacher in the school spends all her time teaching the kids that life is not fair, that the universe is nothing more than doom waiting to happen, that death is the only thing you can count on, and that in fifty years everything that exists right now won't exist anymore. The streets are filthy, the buildings are run down, the sky is filled with smoke and pollution, and all the kids are stupid and can't see sense. Everyone who isn't a personification of "ignorance is bliss" and thinks their world is perfect, is blackmailed and controlled into pretending their world is perfect by unknown faceless people.

Really, there's a reason I don't think Invader Zim would be a good show to let kids watch. As an adult, I think it's hilarious. But it disturbs me to realize that the not-so-distant-future isn't as distant as I'd hoped. Whenever I see a "foto" booth in a mall, I get this sinking feeling in my stomach that says "Not long now."

And why? Because "easier" is more socially acceptable than "right." Because "easier" is a justifiable excuse for "wrong."

This makes no sense! This is illogical. It's like saying "2 plus 2 is 5 because that's just how I do math."

Math isn't math that way. If everyone could do "math" however they wanted to, there would be a worldwide disaster. Everything in life is based on some form of math. But we'll make just one simple example. If math depended on who was doing it, money would be absolutely worthless. We all know that a 1 dollar bill is worth 100 pennies. For one man to say "No, it's worth fifty pennies," and another to say "It's worth 135 pennies" is foolishness. It's illogical. Math is not subject to temporary feelings or personal beliefs. Math is math. When you do math wrong, it's wrong.

So why is it so hard to see language in the same light? When you say a word wrong, it's wrong. When you spell a word wrong, it's wrong. It doesn't matter how easy it is, it doesn't matter how you feel, it doesn't matter how long you've said it or spelled it that way, or who taught you to do it like that. If it's wrong, it's wrong. That is logical.

Let's go deeper with this argument. What about truth?

Once upon a time, if somebody said something that didn't match up with an event that really happened, it was called a lie. Now, it's called their version of the truth.

Please, tell me how this makes sense. If a man was pushed off a bridge, and another man said "He jumped, I saw him," that is a lie. It is not the truth. It is incorrect. It is wrong.

But that's not how it works anymore. Now, lying is no big deal. Anyone says anything that pops into their head if it makes this moment right now any easier. "My boss told me to do things this way," when someone you work with tells you you're doing your job wrong. "My mom's making me come home now and she's like, freaking out on me." Because you want to leave work early. "My cousin's in the hospital with Pneumonia and we think she might die because she's asthmatic and she's like, not able to breathe and she used to smoke a lot so her lungs are bad and she like, ran a marathon yesterday and so I want to be there for her." When you don't want to come to work at all.

The sad thing is, this isn't uncommon. Even that last outrageous one, I've heard things a lot like that, for many different reasons. And people don't even seem to realize that the rest of us aren't stupid and we probably know you're lying anyway. Nobody has six birthdays a year, your grandma died twice in the past six months, you didn't write that song, and we know you're dating that guy.

And the lies keep growing as you keep needing them to get out of the past lie. "Why was she in a marathon if she was asthmatic, you ask? Oh no, I never said she was asthmatic, I said she was... in traffic, and the fumes from the cars got to her lungs." "Oh, you've met my cousin? Oh no, it was my other cousin... yeah, she's like, blonde, and she doesn't come to family reunions, so that's why you didn't meet her." "Oh, you saw me hanging out in the mall that day I said I was at the hospital? No, maybe you saw someone like me. Oh, I was wearing this shirt and someone was saying my name... Ohhhh! I remember now, I like, went to the mall to grab some lunch because the hospital was charging like, ten dollars for a muffin, and I wanted to get my cousin a get well soon card but I didn't like the ones in the gift shop so I wanted to go to Hallmark."

Be honest. I mean, really. Your blonde cousin that doesn't come to reunions wasn't in the hospital for catching Pneumonia from traffic fumes and you weren't in the mall to get her a Hallmark card and eat a less-than-ten-dollar muffin. You just lied.

Saying something doesn't make it true. Sometimes it just makes you a liar.

But we can't say that anymore. It has become more socially acceptable to lie than it is to call someone a liar. Because we can't judge you, how dare we call you fake, you're just misunderstood, we just heard you wrong, excuses, excuses, excuses.

This is illogical. If you say something that isn't true, you are lying. Just like how if you misspell something, it's wrong, and how if you say 2+2=5, it's wrong, if you say something happened when it didn't, you lied. That's just how it is.

This is why "subjective truth" is illogical. Taking it a step further than just the run-of-the-mill lie, let's talk about religion. It is logically impossible for every "truth" to be true, simply because they contradict each other. A monotheistic religion, a polytheistic religion, and an atheistic anti-religion cannot all be true. That is logic. I'm not here to argue about which "truth" is true, that would be the subject of an entirely different discussion. Right now, I'm just pointing out the obvious. They can't all be true. Truth is not subject to temporary feelings or beliefs. Truth is true, whether you believe it or not. That's just logic.

When people use this kind of "logic," it is completely peccable. And yes, I know that "peccable" isn't a word. Rather ironic, in a sense. But still. It's peccable. And we see right through you. We might not call you on it, because that's no longer socially acceptable. But we certainly catch you on it. And instead of getting away with it, you just end up looking like a fool and losing all the respect you might have hoped to gain.

"Surprise" is spelled with an "r." "Thing" is not pronounced "thin" or "Thin-guh." Two plus two equals four. And when something isn't true, it's a lie.

That's just logic.

It's a Bigger Deal than You Realize

Lately, I've heard a single phrase from a lot of different sources. A phrase that seems to have been generally accepted, repeated, and believed by many people, and specific to this article, many Christians. What's the phrase? "It's no big deal."

Admit it, you've thought/said this phrase many times yourself. Maybe recently. Honestly, so have I. And maybe you're already deciding that saying "It's no big deal" is no big deal. Which is, at least in a sense, no big deal. After all, whatever qualifies as "no big deal" is probably something that doesn't hurt anyone, that isn't really all that bad, or that isn't as bad as something else that's bad.

But I think "it's no big deal" is a trap, and a very dangerous one. And I'll tell you why:

Justifying anything by comparing it to something worse doesn't make it any less bad itself. All it does is make you feel more comfortable about doing it.

Take a white lie, for example. What is a white lie, again? It's a lie- but it's a not-so-bad one. A harmless lie. A little white lie. There are people who will argue that telling harmless lies is no big deal. And they're probably right, harmless lies aren't that big of a deal.

There are lots of things that people say aren't that big of a deal. And that's not really a big deal, at face value. But if you take a closer look, you begin to realize that it's a much bigger deal than you realize.

Because the small sin itself isn't the issue. The problem is the attitude behind it. There are a few reasons someone might decide something isn't a big deal. Here are two of the most common ones:

1. They are living in sin, and don't want to feel bad about it.

There are times in the Christian walk when the way you feel and the way we are called to live don't match up. When you are faced with a choice: Do I follow God's commands, or do I trust my own judgement? When you don't understand WHY sin is sin, or you don't agree that it SHOULD be sin, and you have to choose whether or not you'll live by a rule you don't understand or that you disagree with.

These choices are hard to make, because sin has always looked so good. From the moment Eve saw that the fruit was good for eating in the Garden of Eden so long ago, sin has trapped billions of people because it looks good. If no one wanted to sin, no one would sin. If it didn't tempt you, you wouldn't bite. So I understand that it's hard to choose God's rule over our desire. And sometimes, desire wins. That's what sin is; it's desire overcoming sensibility and control. "The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

"It's no big deal" plays into it when, instead of recognizing that what we're doing is sin and trying to put a stop to it, we decide that we like what we're doing, and since we sit in a church pew at least once a month and we're not doing anything really bad, we can sit comfortably in the knowledge that we can still be a Christian without actually sacrificing the things we like to do.

You see how dangerous this mindset can be? Yeah, telling a harmless little white lie now and again might not be a big deal, but the attitude of sinful complacency is. If we decide that we don't trust God to be right about the little things, how then are we to trust him with the big things?

The second reason people justify small sins is this:

2. Someone else is sinning and they just don't want to deal with it.

This one is a bit tricky, because it's not really the sin you're justifying, it's how you choose to deal with it. This one usually applies to parents of children or teenagers who find it easier to let the child get away with it than to try and call them out on it.

As a Christian parent, it is your responsibility to teach your kid how to live according to the Scriptures. If your kid is sinning, you are supposed to teach them that there are consequences for that sin. If you find yourself letting them get away with it, using "it's no big deal" as your justification in doing so, you are teaching your kid that sinning is okay if it's not a big sin. And then suddenly they're a teenager and they lie to you about where they went after school, who they were with, what they were doing, etc. And you're pulling your hair out trying to deal with a teenager you know nothing about.

Either that or you let them get away with it because "teens will be teens" and "it's no big deal." You can't expect your son to tell you the truth. Teens will be teens. You can't expect your son to be living honorably with whatever he doesn't tell you about. Boys will be boys. You can't expect your son to stay out of trouble, stay away from drugs, stay away from alcohol. Because teens will be teens, boys will be boys, and fun is fun. It's no big deal. They're just sowing their wild oats before they grow up. A little rebellion is healthy.

It's not healthy, I can tell you that. When you expect your kids "to be kids," they will rise to your expectation. If you let your kids get away with lying, they will lie. If you let your kids get away with smoking, they will smoke. If you let your kids get away with sleeping around, they will sleep around. Because it's OK. It's "no big deal." And when they end up going too far and your daughter winds up pregnant, or your son winds up drunk, or your kid winds up in the hospital from overdosing, you wonder where you went wrong.

It's a bigger deal than you realize. When you use "it's no big deal" as an excuse to not deal with your kids' behavior, they will pick up on that and use it as an excuse to not try and fix them. Destructive behaviors are addicting. If it's no big deal to try a cigarette, it's no big deal to have a second. If it's no big deal to have a second, it's no big deal to buy a pack. If it's no big deal to buy a pack, it's no big deal to purchase them regularly. And when they're an adult and they wind up in the hospital with lung cancer, it's suddenly a much bigger deal than it used to be. But it's too late now. They're addicted. They have to have their cigarettes.

And really, it's not always the fault of the parents. I understand. Sometimes, a parent tries their best and a child still ends up in those situations on their own. But sometimes it is the fault of the parents. Sometimes the reason a kid ends up "bad" is because the parent lets them.

The fact remains, though, that whether it is the fault of the parent or the kid, it all stems to "it's no big deal."

Whether you're using "it's no big deal" as justification for your own sins or for the sins of someone else, it is still sin, and it is still a big deal.

Justification is the biggest trap of all time, because it is an excuse to let yourself sin without feeling guilty about it. See, nothing is a big deal if you compare it to something that's a bigger deal. "So I stole ten bucks from somebody's purse. It's not like I robbed a bank or anything. It's no big deal." "So I got in a fight at school. It's not like I killed anybody. It's no big deal." "So I checked out the new secretary at work. It's not like I cheated on my wife. It's no big deal."

And yet, the Bible states that to allow evil thoughts to dwell in your mind is just as bad as acting on them. And while people like to say that they're "only human" and they "can't control what they think," you'd be surprised how much control you really have. If you let yourself think about dirty things, you'll think about dirty things more often. What you choose to think is what you will keep on thinking.

Which brings me to another thing that people think "is no big deal."

What you watch and what you listen to directly impacts how you think and how you feel. And I know this statement isn't so very popular. But it's true. What you choose to watch on television is what you choose to let into your heart. What you choose to listen to on the radio is what you choose to let into your heart. If you let yourself watch things that you know you shouldn't watch, those things become a part of you.

Media is very powerful, and it has much more impact on our minds than we think. Media capitalizes on our beliefs, ideals, and ambitions, to speak to us in a personal and meaningful way and thus win over our time and resources. That's why it's such an integral part of our society. Movie makers and Television programs strive to provide entertainment in order to secure commercial sponsorship. Commercials invest in channels and programs that are successful or that have the potential for success in order to reach their target audience, and thus gain awareness for their product or business. Media on the internet is also powerful, whether it's a funny video manufactured to win subscribers or an emotionally charged advertisement manufactured to raise awareness for a cause. There are people who will believe anything they hear or see on the television or the internet, and there are people who understand this and will use media to control those people.

Now, I'm not saying that we should ban televisions and computers in an attempt to avoid media. I think Media is a very good and powerful tool, and if used right, could impact generations in ways we can't even begin to comprehend. But we need to be very careful about what we let into our heads, because that's what we let into our hearts, and that's what we let control us. If we are constantly letting bad imagery, lyrics, and messages into our heads, then we will constantly be thinking of that bad imagery, those bad lyrics, and those bad messages.

If you don't believe me, consider this: I know a very young girl who intends to give all her dolls away because she's seen so many horror movies that she's afraid her toys will come alive and eat her. This is a true story. At an unbelievably young age, she already doesn't like dolls. And it's not because she outgrew them, she's afraid of them.

Some people won't agree with using that as an example, because they argue that things are different for kids. And I agree, to a certain extent. Of course there are things that I, as a 22 year old, watch, that I wouldn't let kids watch. I'm not saying that adults must never watch anything inappropriate for elementary or preschool kids. But I'm using this glimpse into the mind of a child as an example of what we're doing to our own minds. Don't try to tell me that adults aren't affected by horror movies, because I know adults who are scared of puppets and clowns. And yeah, some of them trace their fears to having seen a scary film as a child, but that's not true for everybody. I myself have fears that I didn't have even two or three years ago, that I never worried about until I let myself watch something scary.

And it's not even just about letting fear control you. Violence is just as harmful to your mind as fear. I know people who used to live a life of anger and who faced serious struggles with violence. And it wasn't until they stopped watching violent shows that they realized just how much it affected them.

And romance. If you constantly watch romantic movies, your own ideas of romance are affected by what you see. Speaking generally, the kind of romance movies you like end up reflecting the relationships you find yourself in. To use a common example, the girls who obsess about Twilight will generally end up in an unhealthy relationship because they like to be Bella and they imagine their partner to be Edward. And just like Bella, they find themselves "totally and irrevocably in love" with someone. And when their unrealistic expectations of perfection are shattered, it's too late to go back, because they have given everything, they have let themselves go so completely that they can't turn back. That's what "irrevocably" means. It cannot be revoked.

Self control is a learned behavior. Yeah, it might be easier to learn for some, but nobody just wakes up with self control. If you cannot make yourself exercise, you will never be physically fit. If you cannot make yourself practice an instrument, you will never be a musician. And if you cannot make yourself change the channel, if you cannot make yourself turn off the radio, if you cannot make yourself think about something else, you will never be in control of your own mind.

So how does self control and media tie into "it's no big deal?"

What about when you watched that bad show and when you were feeling guilty about it, you told yourself "It's no big deal?" I'm guilty of that one. There is stuff I will never unsee, that still comes to my mind every so often, that I should not have let into my head and into my heart. But I did because the episode was funny. Or what about that song with that one line that you don't agree with? And every time you listen to the song you kind of try to ignore that line, and when you feel guilty about it, you tell yourself "It's no big deal?" I'm guilty of that one too. There are songs that I've listened to over and over again, that put words and thoughts into my head that I can't forget. But I listened to them because the beat was catchy.

And when you think things, or do things, or say things, things that you know are wrong, that you know go directly against the Bible you normally strive to adhere to, that you know will only bring you grief and heartache, and you justify them with phrases like "it's no big deal," well...

Sin is still sin. And justifying sin to make yourself feel better about it doesn't make it any less sinful.

The only thing that happens is you keep living in your sin, because if it's no big deal, it doesn't need changing. And you don't want to change. You like your dirty little habits right where they are. So you pretend it isn't wrong, you pretend it's no big deal, and you end up deluding yourself into believing it.

God was clear in the rules he gave us. So when we break the rules because it's "no big deal," we're proving that we think we know better. We think God is outdated. We think God is old fashioned. We think that if God lived in today's world and walked in our shoes and knew what we know, he'd have said something different. He would agree with us. Because times are different, we really had no choice, we're only human, kids will be kids. It's no big deal.

That's why "it's no big deal" is such a big deal. It's a trap set with the purpose of ensnaring Christians into living a life of sin without ever fully realizing that it's sin.

And yes, sometimes the things we do aren't a big deal. But be careful about what you're willing to justify, because sometimes, things are a bigger deal than we realize.

Feedback, questions and comments, whether positive or negative, are always welcome provided they are respectful and professional, and have some thought behind them. Trolls and flamers will be ignored on the grounds that they obviously aren't taking this seriously anyway.

Don't Read This if You Like to be Right

Everyone writes blogs these days. It's how you talk, how you state your opinions, how you explain your ideas to people who agree with you (or who don't agree with you) and how you express yourself. I'm surprised I waited till now to start mine; writing has always been one of my stronger points. So here I finally am.

There are a lot of things I plan to talk about. Things I've observed about life, about people, about words, about the church... Because I'm heavily involved in my church, just to let you know. If you don't like to read about the church, don't read this blog.

There are a few other things you should know about me if you intend to read my blog. First, I'm mean. I don't try to be. In fact, I try very hard not to be. But I still have the tendency to be mean, and blunt, and rather rude, all on accident. I say what I mean, and if you don't like brutal honesty, don't read this blog.

Another thing you should know about me is that the majority of my blogs will be written mainly for Christian Believers. While of course, other people can read those kinds of blogs, it won't be the same for them as it would be for a Christian. I'm not being biased or discriminatory. I am a Christian, I am heavily involved in ministry, I do my best to study the Bible and learn what it says, and I apply those teachings in every aspect of my life. Naturally, my writing will reflect that, and as such, will be more suited for other Believers. If you don't like to read about the church... Oh wait, I already said that.

Although I will be talking a lot about scriptures that stand out to me or messages that speak to me, I can tell you right now that I don't believe in just reading the Bible or just believing in God, and never letting it affect your life. I think that a true believer in Christ needs to live their lives in a good and honorable manner in accordance to the scriptures and teachings of Christ. And if I see a common belief among Christians that goes against the teachings of Christ, I won't hesitate to blog about it. If you don't like to read that sometimes a belief or tradition is wrong, don't read this blog.

But if you don't like the church, don't think that I'll be validating any beliefs that Organized Religion is always wrong, either. There is a very important purpose in the church, and a very good reason why they're still around. Churches not only provide a safe environment for free worship and fellowship, but they also are a way to learn and grow in your faith, in integrity and accountability. The Bible has been twisted to say and mean very different things throughout history and in the world today. Finding a good church that truly presents the Gospel in a straightforward, honest, and easy to understand way prevents us from misunderstanding difficult passages or believing everything we hear about God on social media. If you don't like to read that regularly attending church is good for you and even integral to your life, don't read this blog.

For those of you who don't do the "God thing" (If you're still reading this), I will also be blogging about current events, movies, TV shows I watch, books I read, songs I like, and behaviors and mindsets I've observed in people. One of the things I like to write about are character profiles. When I see a fictional character that I find interesting, I like to think about why they are the way they are, how they got that way, and why certain types of real people relate to the characters that are similar to them. So if you don't like to read about why Captain America is the proudest Avenger or why Agent Ziva David is more wrong than she'd like to admit or why Tauriel was the worst thing that could have happened to The Hobbit, don't read this blog.

Most importantly, I will be writing about the hard topics. I'll be writing about justice and mercy, about discrimination and acceptance, about faith and religion, about prosperity and poverty, about hope and hopelessness, about strength and weakness, about rage and self control, about pride and humility, about law and freedom, about prejudice and understanding, about love and hate, about respect and disdain, about heart and happiness, about life and death. Leave all your preconceived notions behind. I will be wrong sometimes, because at the end of the day, I'm only human. But the truth of the matter is you'll be wrong sometimes too.

And if you don't like to be wrong, don't read this blog.

Feedback, questions and comments, whether positive or negative, are always welcome provided they are respectful and professional, and have some thought behind them. Trolls and flamers will be ignored on the grounds that they obviously aren't taking this seriously anyway.